Top 10 Things Not to Say While Arguing with a Woman

1. "Don't you have some laundry to do or something?"

2. "No really... I was laughing about a joke I heard one time."

3. "Ohh, you are so cute when your face gets all red and scrunched up like that."

4. "You're just upset because your backside is beginning to spread."

5. "Wait a minute...I get it. What time of the month is it?"

6. "Are you gonna cry now?" (force lip to quiver mockingly)

7. "You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?"

8. "Sorry. I was just picturing you naked."

9. "Whoa, time out honey. Football is on."

10. "Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?"